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You Know You’re a Nurse IF…

May 9th, 2008 · No Comments

This is for my fellow nurses out there! This list is hilarious. We can all relate to it!

You Know You’re a Nurse IF…

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

You believe not all patients are annoying ~ some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more “warped” each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock

Almost everything can seem humorous … eventually.

When asked, “What color is the patient’s diarrhea?” you show them your shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing you than he can.

You carry “spare” meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

You’re uncomfortable in clothes that don’t have elastic or drawstring waistbands, because you spend most of your waking hours in scrubs.

You refuse to watch ER because it’s too much like the real thing and triggers “flash backs.” (And because real-life ER’s don’t have anyone that looks like Dr. Carter!)

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off, in case it’s someone from the hospital is trying to call to ask you to work.

You’ve been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

You can intubate your friends at parties.

You don’t get excited about blood loss…unless it’s your own.

You live by the motto, “To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult.”

You’ve basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

You’ve told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Drinking iced tea from a clean urinal is completely normal.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago’s water tank.

Tags: How to know you are a NURSE · Nursing Humor

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